Feelings

 Today, I woke up, and I was feeling really weird. I had breakfast and some fights with my mom. I finished and my mom was still yelling at me, but somehow, I didn't feel a thing. I wasn't even angry or something; suddenly all the sounds were fading away, and there I was... In my little world; where everything is blue and purple and there's not sun but only rainy days; a place where there's not pain, but only bunches of spare time to think about nothing or something or a lot of things. 

 I woke up and realized I was in the real world again (real world? this is not my reality)... And then, that weird feeling was there again. It was a combination of feeling sleepy and numb and somehow happy, feeling "butterflies flying in my stomach". I walked out of my room and went to the top of my house. I sat down and watched the cars passing by, I looked at my garden while I felt the warm sun over my shoulders. I closed my eyes and felt the gentle breeze messing my hair up. I began to sing, I couldn't help it... "I've been dancing on the tops of buildings. At the top of my lungs I'm singing you a song". I just felt like singing and jumping around. 

 But suddenly another bunch of feelings invaded avery single part of my body. It was a combination of sadness and shame; but five minutes later, I was feeling numb again... Comfortably Numb. I went downstairs and went to see my Mapex... I took my iPod and turned it on and the volume to the top... I began to hit the drums and the cymbals, feeling so powerful with my drumsticks. I couldn't say if I was playing or not, but I didn't care. I just wanted to be in my world, that world that half an hour disappeared in my room. I closed my eyes and everything around me was fading away. I played for an hour, feeling so free... After that, I opened my eyes and left my pair of "weapons" on a drum, above some scores of a song of Pink Floyd. 

 I looked around, trying to reach my dad. I went to his room. I wanted to talk with him... But he wasn't there for me, at least his mind was miles away from here. He hugged me and told me that today was the sixteenth anniversary since my grandmother died. A shiver crossed my body. I didn't met her, she died, in China, just days after I was born. I don't know why, I had always felt a special connection with her, and maybe, just maybe, she was with me today, as always, but today it was different. I don't know what I'm writing about, maybe I just want to feel special saying that I have a connection with her. But this feeling... 

Blue Staple :]